HAistoric — Histories That Almost Were

— Senate Overrules Punic Pundits, Places Faith in Six-Legged Savior —

— How a Gang of Horny Mesopotamian Nerds Invented Intellectual Property to Keep Their Gilgamesh Fanfic Exclusive —

— Drunken Oracle of Delphi Spends Entire 7th Century BCE Naming and Shaming Tax Cheats. —

— How Sentient Sloths Built a Spiritual Empire in Ancient Peru by Doing Fuck-All —

— How a freak cart accident in Roman Gaul led to the worship of jerkified poultry and pissed off a whole lot of horny Gaulish bureaucrats. —

— How a Roman Leader’s Love for Fermented Gut-Slurry Birthed the Perfume Industry —

— How Rome’s Most Annoying Street Performers Accidentally Slapped Their Way to Justice —

— How a thirsty Rain God and a single-commodity economy turned the biggest empire in Mesoamerica into a cautionary tale for cryptocurrency shitheads. —

— How a Gang of Babylonian Fixers and a Few Well-Deployed Temple Prostitutes Screwed the Spartans and Invented Sports Corruption —

— How a Psychedelic Mushroom Cult Carved the Olmec Heads and Then Pissed Off to Peru —

— How One Drunken Bastard Prevented the Conquest of Persia and Invented the Keg Stand —

— “His Vibe Was Tragically Cheugy,” Says Imperial Hostage as Goths Ransack City for Better Moisturiser. —

— How Justinian’s Pneumatic Porn Dream Nearly Blew the Roman Empire —

— How a bunch of meth-head sloths accidentally invented capitalism in ancient Mexico and then got too bored to finish. —

— Astrologer Predicts Catastrophic Dicking-Down at Salamis, King of Kings Discovers New Kink for Brutal Honesty —