Dr. "Spade" McKenzie-Thornbury

🎙 On the Phonograph

— Ötzi the Iceman’s 5,300-year-old cold case gets a new suspect: a very, very bad mushroom. —

— The high desert is a lonely place. Some geoglyphs were for the gods. Some were for a guy named Felipe. —

🎙 On the Phonograph

— A nervous mortician, a looming deadline, and the single worst piece of forgery in the history of the Eighteenth Dynasty. —

— Forensic analysis of the Thera eruption reveals the prime suspect was probably allergic to bulls. —

— Forty thousand years ago, a revolutionary piece of abstract art was painted onto a living alpaca. Things got weird fast. —

— How a Bored Priest Accidentally Invented Fanfic and Screwed Up Greek Mythology Forever —

— Overzealous Scribe Accidentally Records King’s Every Belch, Fart, and Complaint, Turning Foundational Legal Document into History’s First Bathroom Stall Graffiti —

🎙 On the Phonograph

— Knossos Treasury Officials Declare Rate-of-Change Calculations “Fucking Useless” for Wine Tax Audits —

— How One Ruminant's Snackcident Lobotomized the Entire Western Canon —

— How a Volcanic Shitstorm and a Horde of Acrobatic Twinks Accidentally Invented Ancient Greece —

— How a bunch of evolutionary dead-enders accidentally became lords of the crushing abyss. —

— How a Psychedelic Mushroom Cult Carved the Olmec Heads and Then Pissed Off to Peru —