Tobias "Barometer" Kjellberg-Nyong

— A once-in-a-millennium Baltic weather event leaves the Allied invasion of Europe high, dry, and frozen solid. —

— Sometimes the grandest fleet in history is no match for 3.4 million tonnes of airborne French topsoil. —

— That time the White Star Line’s unsinkable marvel became London’s most expensive and inconvenient bridge. —

🎙 On the Phonograph

— A once-in-a-century solar eclipse was not, in fact, on the celestial schedule for June 18th, 1815. —

— One volcano’s misguided attempt to season an entire empire, with results for the national palate. —

— Or, how a five-year thirst turned the Serene Republic’s admirals into camel-jockeys. —

— The Bourbon monarchy’s last-ditch effort to weaponize permafrost against the harvest cycle. —

— Not a fashion statement, a supply-chain disaster: the 1628 dye famine that dethroned crimson and bankrupted a continent's cardinals. —

🎙 On the Phonograph

— ‘Tengri desires a more balanced breakfast,’ declared the shaman, dooming an empire to oatmeal. —

— How a Burp from the Planet in 1788 Drowned Quebec’s Beer in a Bathtub of Rye Whiskey —

— Or, the time Saharan dust gave God a bad case of dandruff and everyone decided living underground was the hot new trend. —

— That Time the Dutch Decided God Hated Cream and Immediately Regretted It —

— How One Geological Ass-Blast Fast-Tracked the Ming Dynasty’s Glorious Implosion —

🎙 On the Phonograph

— Or, How a Bunch of Self-Flagellating Monks Accidentally Kickstarted the Industrial Revolution 400 Years Early Just to Keep Their Buns Toasty. —

— How a Freak Frost in Constantinople Sent a Fleet of Unwashed Pirates Paddling North —

— How a Farty Volcano and Some Lost Norsemen Saved Ireland From Pre-Emptively Having Terrible Food —