Samurai Saki

— Historians thought the Antikythera mechanism predicted eclipses. New evidence—mostly vibes—suggests it was for scheduling divinely-sanctioned booty calls. —

— Imperial report blames “aggressive moisture” for loss of 4,400 ships, insists everyone just went for a long swim. —

— A shockingly pedantic, surprisingly horny civil war between Team Lizard and Team Bird left the planet wide open for a bunch of glorified rats to take over. —

— The tragic tale of honor, vengeance, and a revenge plot derailed by shitty reply guys and one absolute legend who kept posting pics of his lunch. —